As you work through re-integration (or if you're a Civilian, integration) issues, it's important to have others available when you need them. It's key to find people who care about you. If you don't have family members who can help, you may need to build connections with others through work, social organizations, spiritual practices, online or face to face support groups etc. Below is a place to list the phone numbers of your support system, Remember, even if you're in crisis, and none of your support people is available, you can still stay safe. At the end of the list below, please add the ways to stay safe if none of your people are reachable.
As it's unlikely you have a commander or Brigade Chaplain, civilians will need to alter the following list!
1. My best friend
2. Local crisis line / MP
3. My partner / spouse
4. My Commander
5. My counselor
6. My Bde or BN Chaplain
7. My Bde PA / my doctor
8. The family member with whom I'm closest
9. My neighbor
10. My child(ren)
11. If none of these people is available, and I feel unsafe, I can do the following things to keep myself safe until someone is available
Crowspeak
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Intimacy Issues
Intimacy is the capacity to connect with your Self and others, Enduring trauma may lead to disconnects between you and others or you and your Self.
Exercise I
1. Do you feel connected to others, and if so, whom?
2. To me an intimate relationship means I .......
3. At this time I have an intimate relationship with ..
4. I believe the word love means........
5. I am able to express my love safely?
6. I can express love safely with ............
7. From whom and where do I get support?
8. From whom and where do I get love?
9. Do I feel more distant from others now, after the trauma(s) or after I've begun working them through?
10. How do I express love and caring to myself and others?
11. Am I able to have an intimate sexual relationship with another?
For more information, please contact Ilene Hart hart.crow@gmail.com
Exercise I
1. Do you feel connected to others, and if so, whom?
2. To me an intimate relationship means I .......
3. At this time I have an intimate relationship with ..
4. I believe the word love means........
5. I am able to express my love safely?
6. I can express love safely with ............
7. From whom and where do I get support?
8. From whom and where do I get love?
9. Do I feel more distant from others now, after the trauma(s) or after I've begun working them through?
10. How do I express love and caring to myself and others?
11. Am I able to have an intimate sexual relationship with another?
For more information, please contact Ilene Hart hart.crow@gmail.com
Identifying & Challenging Your Beliefs About Trust
Which of the following statements describes you?
1. I stay away from people
2. I avoid certain activities and if so what sorts.
3. I want to spend my time alone
4. I'm afraid to talk to others
5. I'm afraid to get physically close to others
6. I try to force myself on others
7. I say NO to any suggestion of sexual contact with someone for whom I have feelings
8. I over do taking care of others
9. I have no one to take care of me
10. I am hostile toward others
11. I'm afraid to depend on others
12. I believe others will let me down
13. I am unable to play
14. I fear touch
15. I have trouble making and / or keeping friends
16. I have no friends
17. I can't disclose myself to anyone
18. I don't trust that I'm okay
19. I feel unlovable and undeserving of love
20. I have trouble making decisions
21. I don't believe what others say about me
Now please choose one of your answers from the above questions. The answer is ...........
1. What does it say about you?
2. Now, what does THAT answer say about you?
3. And what does THAT answer say about you?
The third answer, question 3, gives you your deeply held, self limiting, negative, core belief.
To examine this belief, ask:
1. Does this belong to me or someone else?
2. Does it fit my priorities and goals?
3. Does it fit my values and judgments?
4. Does it make me feel better or worse?
5. Does it create unnecessary suffering in any way?
6. Does it put appropriate demands on me at home, work and play?
1. I stay away from people
2. I avoid certain activities and if so what sorts.
3. I want to spend my time alone
4. I'm afraid to talk to others
5. I'm afraid to get physically close to others
6. I try to force myself on others
7. I say NO to any suggestion of sexual contact with someone for whom I have feelings
8. I over do taking care of others
9. I have no one to take care of me
10. I am hostile toward others
11. I'm afraid to depend on others
12. I believe others will let me down
13. I am unable to play
14. I fear touch
15. I have trouble making and / or keeping friends
16. I have no friends
17. I can't disclose myself to anyone
18. I don't trust that I'm okay
19. I feel unlovable and undeserving of love
20. I have trouble making decisions
21. I don't believe what others say about me
Now please choose one of your answers from the above questions. The answer is ...........
1. What does it say about you?
2. Now, what does THAT answer say about you?
3. And what does THAT answer say about you?
The third answer, question 3, gives you your deeply held, self limiting, negative, core belief.
To examine this belief, ask:
1. Does this belong to me or someone else?
2. Does it fit my priorities and goals?
3. Does it fit my values and judgments?
4. Does it make me feel better or worse?
5. Does it create unnecessary suffering in any way?
6. Does it put appropriate demands on me at home, work and play?
POST TRAUMATIC STRESS ( MINUS THE "D" FOR DISORDER)
PTS alters relationships causing some or all of the following symptoms:
1. I was betrayed by ...
2. As a result, I .....
Exercise B
1. What does it mean to you to be able to trust?
2. In what situations do you trust your own thoughts?
3. In what situations do you trust your own judgments or conclusions about a person
4. About a situation?
5. How do you define the word intuition?
6. When do you feel your intuition speaks to you? When do you notice it?
7. How else do you become aware of your feelings and beliefs?
8. Are you trustworthy?
9. When do you keep your promises? When do you not?
10. Do you develop trusting someone gradually or not at all?
11. What people or groups DO you trust?
12. When you have to depend on a person, you feel.........
13. When do you ask people for help with tasks?
14. When do you ask others for help for emotional needs?
For more information feel free to contact Ilene Hart hart,crow@gmail.com 253-279-8146
- Feelings of alienation
- Mistrust and guardedness
- Detachment and isolation
- Loss of pleasure in life
- Loss of capacity to feel joy
- Loss of capacity to have healthy connections to others
- Loss of ability to feel sensuality or sexuality
- Repetitive self-destructive relationships
- Discontent with self comfort and inability to receive nurturing, sometimes even touch
- Problems with boundaries
- Problems communicating wants and needs
- Feelings of abandonment that may not be based on fact
1. I was betrayed by ...
2. As a result, I .....
Exercise B
1. What does it mean to you to be able to trust?
2. In what situations do you trust your own thoughts?
3. In what situations do you trust your own judgments or conclusions about a person
4. About a situation?
5. How do you define the word intuition?
6. When do you feel your intuition speaks to you? When do you notice it?
7. How else do you become aware of your feelings and beliefs?
8. Are you trustworthy?
9. When do you keep your promises? When do you not?
10. Do you develop trusting someone gradually or not at all?
11. What people or groups DO you trust?
12. When you have to depend on a person, you feel.........
13. When do you ask people for help with tasks?
14. When do you ask others for help for emotional needs?
For more information feel free to contact Ilene Hart hart,crow@gmail.com 253-279-8146
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Coming Home Series For Soldiers And their Families...
I designed this series with respect and love for all the Re-deployed Soldiers trying to find their way back home...
Staying Grounded
Staying present and mindful in the current time is a great strength for those healing from trauma. Some suggestions trauma survivors have made for staying grounded include:
1. Using all your senses to be aware of your physical environment then talking to others about it
2. Being ware of your physical body and how you look.
3. Being aware of your movements as you walk
4. Exercising while being aware of what you're doing
5. Making a plan for the day and sharing that plan with another
6. Challenging yourself with increasing the amount of time you can spend in the present
7. Watching TV and telling your self and someone else what you saw
8. Doing routine activities in a slightly different way
9. Asking others to help you stay connected to them.
10. Taking to yourself about the present.
11. Planting your feet as firmly on the ground as is possible in the here and now.
Safety
Recognize your beliefs about safety and identify what you can do to challenge those beliefs if they're causing you suffering.
Physical Safety
Physical safety means your body isn't in danger. If a dangerous event occurs, you can recognize danger signals, look at options, act on those choices and remove yourself from the situation.
Emotional Safety
This means you're able to identify how you feel in situations, recognize what your intuition tells you, and act on your feelings and intuition particularly if they alert you to danger.
Spiritual Safety
This occurs when you learn to trust in your beliefs about something greater than you and use these beliefs to lead you through your life in a good direction all lifelong.
Exercise: Safety Assessment
1. Will you have a safe place in which to work?
2. Have you set aside a specific time or day or week to do that work?
3. Will you have safe things around you when you sit down to tackle your healing work?
4. Will you have things around you to ground yourself and soothe yourself and make you feel good about the healing work you are doing?
5.If you're not working with a therapist, or helping professional, at this time, what makes that work safe or unsafe?
6. How will you protect yourself from your own strong feelings and thoughts that may surface?
7. Is it important for you to consider your own personal safety in your beliefs and actions? Are you personally safe to yourself? Do you have any strong life threatening desires to harm yourself?
8. Do you have unsafe beliefs and if so what can you do to contain any harmful beliefs or actions and prevent them from taking over and hurting you?
9. If you were to evaluate your personal safety within yourself on a scale of 1-10 with one being completely safe and 10 being very unsafe what number would you give yourself now.
10. Write down three negative thoughts then three counter thoughts for each one.
11. Chart times when you begin to feel unsafe and what you're feeling and thinking then consciously do something that brings you safety and confidence
12. Avoid TV shows and music that's likely to trigger you
13. List what you're currently doing to keep yourself safe
For more support, please feel free to contact me
Ilene Hart, MC, LPC
hart.crow@gmail.com
(253) 279-8146
Staying Grounded
Staying present and mindful in the current time is a great strength for those healing from trauma. Some suggestions trauma survivors have made for staying grounded include:
1. Using all your senses to be aware of your physical environment then talking to others about it
2. Being ware of your physical body and how you look.
3. Being aware of your movements as you walk
4. Exercising while being aware of what you're doing
5. Making a plan for the day and sharing that plan with another
6. Challenging yourself with increasing the amount of time you can spend in the present
7. Watching TV and telling your self and someone else what you saw
8. Doing routine activities in a slightly different way
9. Asking others to help you stay connected to them.
10. Taking to yourself about the present.
11. Planting your feet as firmly on the ground as is possible in the here and now.
Safety
Recognize your beliefs about safety and identify what you can do to challenge those beliefs if they're causing you suffering.
Physical Safety
Physical safety means your body isn't in danger. If a dangerous event occurs, you can recognize danger signals, look at options, act on those choices and remove yourself from the situation.
Emotional Safety
This means you're able to identify how you feel in situations, recognize what your intuition tells you, and act on your feelings and intuition particularly if they alert you to danger.
Spiritual Safety
This occurs when you learn to trust in your beliefs about something greater than you and use these beliefs to lead you through your life in a good direction all lifelong.
Exercise: Safety Assessment
1. Will you have a safe place in which to work?
2. Have you set aside a specific time or day or week to do that work?
3. Will you have safe things around you when you sit down to tackle your healing work?
4. Will you have things around you to ground yourself and soothe yourself and make you feel good about the healing work you are doing?
5.If you're not working with a therapist, or helping professional, at this time, what makes that work safe or unsafe?
6. How will you protect yourself from your own strong feelings and thoughts that may surface?
7. Is it important for you to consider your own personal safety in your beliefs and actions? Are you personally safe to yourself? Do you have any strong life threatening desires to harm yourself?
8. Do you have unsafe beliefs and if so what can you do to contain any harmful beliefs or actions and prevent them from taking over and hurting you?
9. If you were to evaluate your personal safety within yourself on a scale of 1-10 with one being completely safe and 10 being very unsafe what number would you give yourself now.
10. Write down three negative thoughts then three counter thoughts for each one.
11. Chart times when you begin to feel unsafe and what you're feeling and thinking then consciously do something that brings you safety and confidence
12. Avoid TV shows and music that's likely to trigger you
13. List what you're currently doing to keep yourself safe
For more support, please feel free to contact me
Ilene Hart, MC, LPC
hart.crow@gmail.com
(253) 279-8146
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Love Day Everyone!
Please enjoy these inspiring Youtube selections...
Stephen Mitchell
Byron KATIE
BILLY COLLINS THE DEAD
http://youtu.be/iuTNdHadwbkhttp://youtu.be/iuTNdHadwbk
http://youtu.be/wPX0hNBGf8Yhttp://youtu.be/wPX0hNBGf8Y
Psalm I
http://youtu.be/72Xe5-PpN7ghttp://youtu.be/72Xe5-PpN7g
2nd Book of The Tao
Do we have to read The Tao with the 2nd book?
Byron Katie & Change
Releasing Thoughts Byron Katie
http://youtu.be/TPaB93dBzJUhttp://youtu.be/TPaB93dBzJU
Byron Katie Your Enlightenment
http://youtu.be/kemN8tJOx6Ahttp://youtu.be/kemN8tJOx6A
FINDING LOVE AND KINDNESS
'http://youtu.be/IeH85savvN4http://youtu.be/IeH85savvN4
Questioning Your Thoughts About Love
Byron Katie
http://youtu.be/sYy0CWpPEYohttp://youtu.be/sYy0CWpPEYo
Byron Katie Prison of The Mind
http://youtu.be/yzEa9jJ8d7Yhttp://youtu.be/yzEa9jJ8d7Y
Byron Katie And God
http://youtu.be/VF2WAfPhc8khttp://youtu.be/VF2WAfPhc8k
MARY OLIVER THE JOURNEY
http://youtu.be/VNqSWiYWDawhttp://youtu.be/VNqSWiYWDaw
'
Marianne Williamson
The Mystical Power of relationships
http://youtu.be/4-ZLkxlV1O8http://youtu.be/4-ZLkxlV1O8
Love,
Ilene
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
FALLEN WARRIORS
EL PASO, Texas -- A Fort Bliss soldier who was shot in the head outside a Central El Paso nightclub has died from his injures, police said.The shooting occurred shortly after 2:09 a.m. Jan. 15 outside Fussion Nightclub at 4304 Dyer Street.Preston Brown died at University Medical Center on Monday. Damien Bailey died the night of the shooting. The third victim, Tyrone Head was shot in the upper chest and transported to William Beaumont Army Medical Center. He was released after he received medical treatment. all three soldiers were 21years old.Police arrested Craig Allen Graham, who served in the Marine Corps., on suspicion of murder and two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He now faces the charges of capital murder and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.In a Facebook page belonging to Preston Brown's mother, Judi Walker, she wrote the following Tuesday: Don't Tell Me Please don't tell me you know how I feel, Unless you have lost your child too, Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal, Because that is just not true, Please don't tell me my son is in a better place, Though it is true, I want him here with me, Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face, Beyond today I cannot see, Don't tell me it is time to move on, Because I cannot, Don't tell me to face the fact he is gone, Because denial is something I can't stop, Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had, Because I wanted more, Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad, I'll never be as I was before, What you can tell me is you will be here for me, That you will listen when I talk of my child, You can share with me my precious memories, You can even cry with me for a while, And please don't hesitate to say his name, Because it is something I long to hear everyday, Friend please realize that I can never be the same, But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday. Arthur: Judi Walker (In Memory of Shane) and now my son Preston Antonio Brown AKA 'Pops Brown' Copyright
Second Fort Bliss soldier dies after Dyer nightclub shooting- A blood spot was all that remained from a Jan. 15 shooting outside Dyer nightclub shooting COMMAND STATED THAT Fort Bliss soldier's fatal shooting was isolated event. THE Soldier killed at Dyer club fixed copters. Police identify Fort Bliss soldier shot, killed outside Cental El Paso nightclub. Gunfire preceded slaying on Dyer- Man jailed in fatal shooting of Fort Bliss soldier outside Central El Paso nightclub A second Fort Bliss soldier has died following a shooting outside a nightclub last week, El Paso police said. Pvt. Preston Brown, 21, died Monday at University Medical Center of El Paso after being shot in the head Jan. 15 outside the Fussion nightclub in the Lower Dyer area, police said. The shooting also claimed the life of Pvt. Damien W. Bailey and wounded Spc. Tyrone Head, who was released from the hospital after being shot in the torso. Both men are also 21 years old. Police have arrested Craig Allen Graham, 29, whose charges will be upgraded to capital murder and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, police officials said.
COMBAT AVAIATION BDE FOR 1ST ARMORED DIVISION
‘Iron Eagle has landed’: 1st AD CAB activates, marking momentous occasion
From left, Col. Lonnie G. Hibbard, Combat Aviation Brigade commander; Lt. Col. Christopher M. Barnwell, commander of the 4th Attack Reconnaissance Battalion, 501st Aviation Regiment; and Command Sgt. Maj. Steven Odom, battalion command sergeant major, uncase the battalion colors during the colors-uncasing and activation ceremony of the 1st AD CAB Sept. 20. Photo by Spc. Jeanita C. Pisachubbe, 1st AD CAB Public Affairs.
1st AD CAB Public Affairs:
Sept. 20 marked a momentous occasion for the 1st Armored Division.
After being separated from its Combat Aviation Brigade for the last five years, the “Iron” Soldiers of the 1st Armored Division and the “Iron Eagles” of the division’s Combat Aviation Brigade reunited during the brigade’s colors-uncasing ceremony here.
“The brigade is the first combat aviation brigade ever here at Fort Bliss, and will serve as the only one in the 1st Armored Division,” said Maj. Gen. Dana J. H. Pittard, commanding general of 1st AD and Fort Bliss. “The Iron Eagles certainly play a critical role as Fort Bliss becomes a premier power projection platform.
“With the outstanding leadership of Colonel Lonnie Hibbard and Command Sergeant Major Donald Rose, this brigade will make an incredible contribution to the 1st Armored Division, Fort Bliss, the Army and the nation,” said Pittard. “This team is without a doubt the right team to build this unit and to lead them into battle.”
Several weeks ago, the 4th Combat Aviation Brigade cased its colors at Fort Hood, Texas. The Soldiers of the 4th CAB became the nucleus of this unit that moved more than 1,000 Soldiers and family members to what is now the 1st AD CAB under the Base Realignment and Closure process.
“A unit’s colors represent its people, and behind the colors on the ramp today stand the dedicated Soldiers of the Iron Eagles Brigade,” said Hibbard. “These Soldiers have excelled day after day, meeting and exceeding mission requirements in garrison and combat.”
Soldiers of the Combat Aviation Brigade, 1st Armored Division, stand together as a newly re-activated aviation brigade during their colors-uncasing ceremony Sept. 20. Photo by Spc. Jeanita C. Pisachubbe, 1st AD CAB Public Affairs.
“Many of these Soldiers have only been home for 70 days and, instead of enjoying block leave, we asked them to pack up their personal belongings, their units and their families and moved them here to Fort Bliss,” said Hibbard. “The dedication of today’s Soldier is amazing, but more amazing are the families that support them.
Hibbard thanked the numerous men and women who have worked tirelessly to provide the state-of-the-art facilities that the Soldiers of the 1st AD CAB will occupy.
In Hibbard’s closing address to his Soldiers, he thanked them for their service and sacrifices.
“It’s not an easy time to be a Soldier or family member of a Soldier, and you should know that your sacrifices do not go unnoticed,” said Hibbard. “Your service is what allows all of us to live in freedom.”
God Bless Fallen Warrior Private Damien W Bailey & Family
September 04, 1990 - January 15, 2012
Delta Company, 4-501 Aviation regiment
Blessings to all his family and friends and gratitude for the gifts he left behind for everyone who knew him.
http://www.elpasotimes.com/ci_19750315?source=most_viewed
Delta Company, 4-501 Aviation regiment
Blessings to all his family and friends and gratitude for the gifts he left behind for everyone who knew him.
http://www.elpasotimes.com/ci_19750315?source=most_viewed
Support Arizona Workers
http://ed.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/31/10282856-arizona-worse-than-wisconsin
David Shapira AZ (D) has set up a website designed to support Arizona teachers, firemen, police etc from Gov Brewer's dark mission to dismantle all their unions and bargaining power!
David Shapira AZ (D) has set up a website designed to support Arizona teachers, firemen, police etc from Gov Brewer's dark mission to dismantle all their unions and bargaining power!
ABOUT DAVID
Representative David Schapira is a native Arizonan. He is a small business owner and educator whose career has been rooted in improving his community.
David has represented Tempe and South Scottsdale since his election in 2006. In addition to his service at the Legislature, he is a member of the Political Science faculty at ASU. David and his wife own a small business in Tempe. DevilDash.com is a care package delivery service that caters to students in the ASU area.
David previously served as a public high school teacher in the Valley, as an aide to US Senator Tom Daschle in Washington, DC and as manager of Terry Goddard's 2002 campaign for Arizona Attorney General. David, a cancer survivor, has also worked with the American Cancer Society both as staff and as a volunteer.
David’s focus at the Legislature is the education of Arizona’s children. As a former public school teacher, he knows the future of education in Arizona depends on investing in student learning, reducing class sizes, paying teachers reasonable wages and working to make sure our state’s universities are leaders in higher education and research. He has served for the last two years as the ranking member of the House Education Committee.
David has been recognized as a top legislator by the Arizona Student Association, American Cancer Society, Mothers Against Drunk Driving and the Arizona Technology Council. He was also named one of six "Lawmakers Who Made a Difference" and one of five "Emerging Leaders Worth Watching" by the Arizona Republic.
A product of Arizona public schools, David also attended Arizona State University and Northern Arizona University before receiving his Bachelor's Degree in Political Science from The George Washington University in Washington, DC.
David, his wife Rosemary and their daughter reside in Tempe.
Gov. Jan Brewer uses ALEC keynote address to declare war on the civil service merit selection system
Posted by azBlueMeanie:
I have been warning you about this ALEC initiative for months. During the last legislative session there was Frank Antenori's secret plan to end civil service merit selection system for county employees, HB 2650, which singled out the state of Maricopa for exclusion from its provisions, clearly unconstitutional on equal protection grounds.
Gov. Jan Brewer vetoed the bill, not because she disagreed but because Jan Brewer wants to be the Scott Walker of the West:
The Arizona Capitol Times (subscription required) has more. Brewer pitches personnel plan to lawmakers, but there may not be time:
Lawmakers have been briefed about a plan by Gov. Jan Brewer to remove state employees from the state’s merit system.
Senate President Russell Pearce said the Governor’s Office gave a draft of the proposal to lawmakers nearly a month ago. He said the state needs personnel reform, but the plan still needs work, and there may not be time to do it before the legislative session ends.
* * *
Details are scant about the proposal and the Governor’s Office did not release a draft of the plan that was given to lawmakers. But the gist of it is to remove “covered” state personnel from merit protection[.]
“The caucus is supportive of it. The problem is you’re trying to introduce something at the tail end of session,” said Sen. Ron Gould, R-Lake Havasu City.
* * * *
“Either you play cram down like we saw with the so-called jobs bill,” Gould said. “Or if you call us back into special session to do this you get the same effect.”
Gov. Brewer wants to eliminate the merit system of public employment for state employees, returning to the spoils system of political patronage and cronyism. Public employees would have an incentive to keep working for politicians and their party — as opposed to a system of awarding employment on the basis of some measure of merit independent of political activity. This bill is far worse than the attack on collective bargaining in Wisconsin. Gov. Brewer wants to be the Scott Walker of the West.
On Wednesday, standing before her corporate enablers at the ALEC Summit, Boss Tweed Gov. Brewer declared war on the civil service merit selection system. The Arizona Capitol Times (subscription required) reports Brewer prepares ’12 push for personnel reform - Arizona Capitol Times:
Gov. Jan Brewer is getting ready for a 2012 push to revamp the rules governing the hiring and firing of state employees.
The governor announced her intentions Wednesday at the American Legislative Exchange Council’s States and Nation Policy Summit. She said state personnel reform will be one of her top priorities in the 2012 legislative session and that she will ask lawmakers to pass a package of reforms (.pdf) that will consolidate the state’s personnel systems; improve management of the workforce; restructure the system for filing appeals and grievances; and modify human resources practices.
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