LOVE'S
DEEPER COMMITMENT
Let's
not commit to a future together. The future is so unknown, and we are
so fluid, and tired of pretending that we know.
Our
thoughts and feelings are ever-changing, uncontrollable, like a wild
ocean of love.
Our
desires wax and wane; our dreams are born and die in every moment.
Let's
not commit to a form of love. The forms are always shifting, like the
tides.
We
do not need security here. We are not seeking comfort, but Truth.
Let's
make a deeper commitment; one that cannot be broken or lost.
To
presence. To meeting in the here-and-now.
To
bringing all of ourselves. To knowing, and letting ourselves be
known.
To
telling the truth, today; knowing that our truth may change tomorrow.
To
bowing before each other, even if our hearts are broken and tender.
No
promises, no guarantees.
Loving
takes courage! Yes!
For
love is a field, not a form. Let us commit to the field, remember the
field in every moment of our precious days on this Earth.
In
ten years' time, we may still be together. We may have children. We
may live together, or live apart.
We
may never see each other again. This may be our last day.
If
we are honest, we really do not know; not knowing is our Home.
We
may be friends, or lovers, or strangers, or family, or we may remain
undefined, beyond narrative, our love unable to be captured in words.
Here
at the edge of the known, on the line that once divided sanity from
madness, and doubt from certainty, we play, we dance, we drink tea,
we touch each other, we cry, we laugh, we meet.
We
sacrifice comfort and predictability. But what we gain is
astonishing: This tremendous sense of being alive. No longer numb to
the mysteries of love, the mysteries of our bodies.
A
little raw, perhaps. A little shaky. Maybe a little disoriented, but
perhaps this is the price of being totally free.
Maybe
an old part of us still seeks mommy or daddy, that Magic Person who
will never leave, always be there, take away the loneliness repressed
in our guts. Loving that frightened part too; bowing to that part
too, but no longer being controlled by it.
And
they will ask:
What
about your future?
What
happens if you have children?
How
the hell do you define yourselves?
Why
are you afraid of commitment?
Why
do you run from security? Comfort? Future?
They
will say you are crazy, or you don't understand love, or you are
lost, or you are unloving and selfish, and you will smile, and
understand their fear, for their fear was once yours, and you cannot
abandon your path now.
And
nobody has to walk with you. Ever.
At
some point, only Truth will satisfy. A living Truth, renewing itself
each and every moment, the wild Truth of the open heart.
When
Love and Truth are One, when the Commitment is deeply rooted in the
breath, we can finally face each other without resentment, and
explode into the most melancholy sunsets, held in the most profound
joy.
Walking
alone, together, alone.
-
Jeff Foster
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