Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Martha Beck's Holiday Notes

 
Immeasurable gratitude and the process of rebirth...

First of all I want to express my immeasurable gratitude to all the amazing people who have given me help, presents (or presence), kind wishes, and loving energy over the past few weeks. I’ve never had such an emotional and beautiful birthday, and at this point that’s saying a lot, for I am old.
Right now birth—and rebirth—are very much on my mind. Having finally reached the new home I’ve been yammering about for months, I’m in the process of being reborn as a Californian who lives on a ranch, something I never in a million years thought I would say.
(Speaking of which, I’m making a list called “S**T I never in a million years thought I would say.” For example, “Honey, could you get me the chainsaw?” “If you could just move the carcass over there it would help.” “Did the turkey hurt you, honey?”)
Even after all these years of coaching, I forgot what the process of rebirth actually feels like. It’s not as if I had no clues—have you ever seen a baby being born? They are slimy, disgusting creatures, and they scream constantly. Of course, there is nothing more precious than a newborn, but being one is not something you want to repeat too often. During the last week I drove several thousand miles, sustained approximately a thousand bruises, and stabbed myself in the eye brutally with a wire hanger. I look like the child I would have had after sleeping with Sasquatch.
Let’s just say that you, like me, are newly born in some way. Maybe you have just emerged from a terrible relationship, or you are starting a new business, or you have just had an actual baby, making you a newborn parent. Here are some reminders that have helped me cope with my own recent experiences:

Do not be ashamed if you find yourself screaming! Halfway through our long trip my GPS navigator gave out, telling me it had unsubscribed me and insisting that I give it a password that I forgot during the Reagan Administration (you kids don’t even remember President Reagan, and trust me he doesn’t remember you either). I thought I was hiding my distress from my son, who was in the car with me. I didn’t think he was watching when I physically assaulted the gas station pump simply because it was the nearest physical object. When I got back in the car Adam looked a little pale. Thinking he might have seen something, I said, “Honey, I’m sorry, I am not mad at you.” He said, and I quote: “It’s OK mom, you just scream too much.” I didn’t bother to explain that I am a new baby, and screaming is what new babies do best.
Let other people hold you up. I don’t mean as in mugging. I mean as in swaddling, feeding, and comforting you. Even if all you have to carry is a heart full of grief at the loss of your former life, you cannot carry it alone. Tell people when you are tired. Tell them when something is too hard. Tell them when there really is something they could do to help. More than any other animal, we are born needing one another. In our individualistic culture we can pretend much of the time that we need only ourselves. Times of rebirth will teach you just how ridiculous that is. Rely on your loved ones. If you have no loved ones, ask for help from strangers. Despite all the terrible things humans do, rebirth will teach you that our species' capacity for kindness far outstrips our cruelty. Rebirth will teach you this simple truth: most people are good.

Finally, I want to update you on a Square 3 tool you all learned in your training. I have revised the concept of Turtle Steps. I am now taking BABY Turtle Steps. My to-do list includes tasks like “plug in computer.” Sometimes that’s all I can take before I have to lie down. That’s OK. Babies lie down a lot. When they first start moving, they don’t gallop around like the deer I watch out my window as I write this newsletter. They creep, they thrash, and they frequently give up and go back to screaming.
I have a friend whose new grandbaby can travel only by rolling. It is quite an experience to see her trying to navigate around a room: ten pounds of ambitious human, with virtually no motor control, using every ounce of energy she possesses to move about half an inch and hour. I so identify.
So now I am going to go thrash around my new life for another BABY Turtle Step. My goals for the day are simple; the only really solid one is to avoid stabbing myself in the other eye. You may only roll one tiny fraction of an inch toward your goals today. You may have to ask for help from someone you’ve never even met. You may do some screaming. If all these things and more happen today, give yourself a high five. You are right on track for a wonderful new life.

~Martha

Thank you!
(Get your tissues out!)


Martha's Book Nook...

This month I want to recommend a classic: The four novel series by T.H. White The Once and Future King. We have a big-ass round table here at the ranch, and a visiting Shaman told me I must reread The Arthurian Legends. Start with the wonderful novel The Sword and The Stone. In that book, White describes the childhood of the future King Arthur, especially his education by the wizard Merlyn, who teaches him morals and ethics partly by turning him into a wide variety of animals. Anyone on the Team (that means you!) will identify with Arthur and spend some wonderful hours being educated by Merlyn. On second thought, most of you ARE Merlyn, so go right ahead and identify with him!

Whether you are re-birthing or just experiencing the crazy chaos of the holiday season... I wish you much love, safe travels, love that surrounds you (you are always held and supported), and the most delicious December.

Cheers to 2012 and I'll see YOU, YOU, YOU in 2013!
xo

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