Immeasurable
gratitude and the process of rebirth...
First
of all I want to express my immeasurable gratitude to all the amazing
people who have given me help, presents (or presence), kind wishes,
and loving energy over the past few weeks. I’ve never had such an
emotional and beautiful birthday, and at this point that’s saying a
lot, for I am old.
Right
now birth—and rebirth—are very much on my mind. Having finally
reached the new home I’ve been yammering about for months, I’m in
the process of being reborn as a Californian who lives on a ranch,
something I never in a million years thought I would say.
(Speaking
of which, I’m making a list called “S**T I never in a million
years thought I would say.” For example, “Honey, could you get me
the chainsaw?” “If you could just move the carcass over there it
would help.” “Did the turkey hurt you, honey?”)
Even
after all these years of coaching, I forgot what the process of
rebirth actually feels like. It’s not as if I had no clues—have
you ever seen a baby being born? They are slimy, disgusting
creatures, and they scream constantly. Of course, there is nothing
more precious than a newborn, but being one is not something you want
to repeat too often. During the last week I drove several thousand
miles, sustained approximately a thousand bruises, and stabbed myself
in the eye brutally with a wire hanger. I look like the child I would
have had after sleeping with Sasquatch.
Let’s
just say that you, like me, are newly born in some way. Maybe you
have just emerged from a terrible relationship, or you are starting a
new business, or you have just had an actual baby, making you a
newborn parent. Here are some reminders that have helped me cope with
my own recent experiences:
Do
not be ashamed if you find yourself screaming! Halfway through our
long trip my GPS navigator gave out, telling me it had unsubscribed
me and insisting that I give it a password that I forgot during the
Reagan Administration (you kids don’t even remember President
Reagan, and trust me he doesn’t remember you either). I thought I
was hiding my distress from my son, who was in the car with me. I
didn’t think he was watching when I physically assaulted the gas
station pump simply because it was the nearest physical object. When
I got back in the car Adam looked a little pale. Thinking he might
have seen something, I said, “Honey, I’m sorry, I am not mad at
you.” He said, and I quote: “It’s OK mom, you just scream too
much.” I didn’t bother to explain that I am a new baby, and
screaming is what new babies do best.
Let
other people hold you up. I don’t mean as in mugging. I mean as in
swaddling, feeding, and comforting you. Even if all you have to carry
is a heart full of grief at the loss of your former life, you cannot
carry it alone. Tell people when you are tired. Tell them when
something is too hard. Tell them when there really is something they
could do to help. More than any other animal, we are born needing one
another. In our individualistic culture we can pretend much of the
time that we need only ourselves. Times of rebirth will teach you
just how ridiculous that is. Rely on your loved ones. If you have no
loved ones, ask for help from strangers. Despite all the terrible
things humans do, rebirth will teach you that our species' capacity
for kindness far outstrips our cruelty. Rebirth will teach you this
simple truth: most people are good.
Finally,
I want to update you on a Square 3 tool you all learned in your
training. I have revised the concept of Turtle Steps. I am now taking
BABY Turtle Steps. My to-do list includes tasks like “plug in
computer.” Sometimes that’s all I can take before I have to lie
down. That’s OK. Babies lie down a lot. When they first start
moving, they don’t gallop around like the deer I watch out my
window as I write this newsletter. They creep, they thrash, and they
frequently give up and go back to screaming.
I
have a friend whose new grandbaby can travel only by rolling. It is
quite an experience to see her trying to navigate around a room: ten
pounds of ambitious human, with virtually no motor control, using
every ounce of energy she possesses to move about half an inch and
hour. I so identify.
So
now I am going to go thrash around my new life for another BABY
Turtle Step. My goals for the day are simple; the only really solid
one is to avoid stabbing myself in the other eye. You may only roll
one tiny fraction of an inch toward your goals today. You may have to
ask for help from someone you’ve never even met. You may do some
screaming. If all these things and more happen today, give yourself a
high five. You are right on track for a wonderful new life.
~Martha
Thank
you!
(Get
your tissues out!)
Martha's
Book Nook...
This
month I want to recommend a classic: The four novel series by T.H.
White The Once and Future King. We have a big-ass round table here at
the ranch, and a visiting Shaman told me I must reread The Arthurian
Legends. Start with the wonderful novel The Sword and The Stone. In
that book, White describes the childhood of the future King Arthur,
especially his education by the wizard Merlyn, who teaches him morals
and ethics partly by turning him into a wide variety of animals.
Anyone on the Team (that means you!) will identify with Arthur and
spend some wonderful hours being educated by Merlyn. On second
thought, most of you ARE Merlyn, so go right ahead and identify with
him!
Whether
you are re-birthing or just experiencing the crazy chaos of the
holiday season... I wish you much love, safe travels, love that
surrounds you (you are always held and supported), and the most
delicious December.
Cheers
to 2012 and I'll see YOU, YOU, YOU in 2013!
xo
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